Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Pre Ironman CDA, circa 2007

Four years ago I wrote the blog post below. It was the day before I was flying to Spokane, home, to do what I thought would be my first and only Ironman. I was 29 years old & naive. Little did I know what that journey would turn into. I was scared shit-less, having no idea what I could do come race day, unsure if I could even run a marathon (post IT band surgery) again and yet excited beyond words all at the same time.

I cried before the start, I cried at the finish. It took me like 5 hours to prep my transition & special needs bags. I drank too much wine the week before the race, I was restless. I was not confident in myself or my abilities.

Yet, somehow I crossed that finish line still standing, without peeing my pants and with one of the biggest smiles of my life. It was a moment I will NEVER forget.

In just over a week I'll be heading back to IMCDA for the 3rd time. I'm a different person now. I'm a different athlete. I still have some insecurities, but I also have a different sense of confidence as well. I know the hard work I've put into this race. I know the improvements I've made, the changes I've made.

While I might be squeezing into these same wetsuit, riding the same bike and wearing the same style shoes…. I know this race is going to be DIFFERENT, better.

I believe it. It's my second home, my clean crisp air and green trees. The lake I grew up spending summers at from the time I could walk, and still enjoyed when I could drive myself out there with my girlfriends to work on our tans.

I can't freaking wait. Let's get this show on the road.

Today is the day. S & I are finally all packed..... Trust me, you have no idea what an accomplishment that is. I am the world's worst packer. Without a doubt, the worst. It
literally took me all day to get my sh$! together yesterday and physically in the suitcase. I just kept running from room to room with different things in my hand... then I'd forget what I was doing, and end up not accomplishing a whole heck of a lot.

The kids were so irritated with me. As if the stress of the suitcase in front of them wasn't enough, THEN they had to follow me around the house like a mad woman. Poor things. Not much has changed today either. My poor baby Baxter. He just keeps looking at me with the saddest, longing eyes. I hate when he does this to me. I hate to leave him. Trust me.... for those of you with 2-legged kids. I swear, I have the same attachment to my dog. Who, is really not a dog.... he's a red, 4-legged person.

The bad part is he knows it. He knows he can get me to do anything he wants. Like last night. I was feeling guilty, so I told him, after his Dad went to sleep he could jump on the bed. This is about the only thing the kids aren't allowed to do - sleep on the bed. So, about 30
mins after we went to bed, I called him up... He slept with me all night long. Ok, actually I didn't sleep much last night.... but that's another story. Baxter sure did though. He was all snuggled up to me, and WE loved it. Even Shane... even though he'll NEVER admit it.....

So, like I said before... we're leaving soon. In a couple of hours to be exact. I still have some last minute things to do, you know.. like TAKE A SHOWER! But, I've still got time ;-)

It's so crazy that 1 year ago..... this date was so far out in the future, not much about it scared me at all. Now, it seems like just a couple of months later, it's all here. The training is done. All my money is gone on everything you could possibly
imagine, and then some.... My muscles are healing (which by the way - HURTS).

There are so many things about this journey that are amazing. Every time I reached a new "longest swim, longest bike, longest swim...." I felt
achievement. There were good days & bad days. Some days when I just didn't feel like I could do it. Others, when I was on top of the world and couldn't believe how far I have come.

Who'd of thought the party girl from Spokane, Washington would be doing her first
Ironman before she turned 30 - and who'd of thought it would be in the lake she grew up swimming in. Countless summer days playing in the water (what the hell was I thinking - it's 58DEGS!). Countless trips to Paul Bunyan for soft serve ice cream (I think it's still there!)......

So many people have supported me through this journey:

My husband, who wasn't even going to do this race until I gave him the "
ok" - he was going to be my cheerleader.

My training buddies, all 6 of them also doing the race (
momo, ironshane, Sara, Ric, Troy, Heather).

My dear friend from High School Carrie , who is my #1 fan and will be out on the course all day long supporting me.

Stacey & Dave who are actually flying in from Phoenix to come support us - how lucky are we?

My trainer Daniel.... as mean as he was, I know he will be a big part of my success on Sunday.

Natalie and Kate - they were out there on so many of my training runs. And, Natalie is ALWAYS sending the nicest kind thoughts to all of us.

So many others that are supporting us - Sharon, Toni, parents....... It's just so amazing to have such great people surrounding us! And, although they may think we are crazy, they are still cheering us on.

Of course - all of my blog readers that I have not yet met. Thank you for your kind words...

I will be writing more while we are in


Michelle Simmons said...

Oh this gave me chills!@ Love it! I wish I would have written a blog post prior to my first Ironman. It was 1997. I don't think blogs existed back then, did they? ;) First Ironmans are the BEST, no matter what your finish time. Fwiw, I went 14:22 in my first Ironman. I think I'll shoot to crush that by ~4 hours this time around. :))

mtanner said...

love this! CDA was my first too. Love love love the area-
see ya in a week.

Jamesc said...


This is your year. Go male it happen, find that spot between what you can feel and what you can do or force yourself to do. CDA is your race, sending good vibes.


Anonymous said...

I totally got chills reading this again! you are such a different athlete than you were for the 1st go round. Still have the same drive and heart but even more of a bad ass now. can't wait to see you smoke this race!! wooo the the eff'in hoooo!!!

K-dawg's #1 Fan