Sunday, November 25, 2012

Possibilities

“All things are possible until they are proven impossible.” 
 Pearl S. Buck

Over the past month I've done a lot of thinking.  With so many life changing things that have happened to me this year, I've spent many nights daydreaming myself to sleep with what ifs.  I think about where I was at the beginning of this year, and where I am now.

I think back to where I was in March - I have a great job with all the flexibility one can ask for, and it still pays the bills.  I have a family.  We drive each other crazy, but they are here.  My mom, my dad, my sister, my niece my husband.  I have a husband who is a dreamer.  We love to sit over cocktails at night and talk about our plans, our goals, our future…

When I think back to then, to March… to those thoughts, so many things have changed.  Instead of knowing what tomorrow will bring, I'm faced with uncertainty.  I no longer have my mom.  I no longer no what to expect at the holidays.  In 5 more weeks I no longer have a job.  Will the bills be paid?  What will I do?

What do I WANT to do?

I've never been much of a live in the moment kind of person.  I make a plan, I follow a plan, I almost always know what to expect.  But here I find myself with so much uncertainty.  So many things I would love to do, but not knowing how or where to start them.

I suppose I should take this time in my life to dream.  To make changes and strive to do things I never thought possible, or maybe never dreamed I could do.

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” 
 Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hope that someday soon I will go to bed not thinking about all the uncertainty.  I hope to not think about this past year and all the change.

I know that my future has some exciting and fun adventures.  I just wish I had any clue what those were… Until then I will do what I do.  Go for a run, sip my martini and hide the fact that all this uncertainty has my scared out of my mind!

Then, I will remind myself that the possibilities are endless...


3 comments:

tejasrunnergirl said...

I'm in the same boat! I'll be accepting a severance from my job in the near future but I'm sorta excited about a new adventure, though I have no idea what it will be. I know we both will land even bigger and better opportunities. Thinking of you during the holiday season my friend. xoxo Kate

thepumpkinsdiary said...

You sound like me! I know you'll land with your feet firmly on the ground when the time is right... I think you know that too! It's just so dang annoying not knowing where or when or what.

Molly said...

You are most certainly not alone! I've got a whole lot of uncertainty for next year...hopefully in about 3 months I will have an answer. You'll figure out where you want to be!