Friday, October 16, 2009

Confidence

"Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. " Wikipedia

We all have our hobbies, whether it be running, triathlon, car racing, horse racing or even the well, interesting Olympic sport of curling. Or, non athletic hobbies of sewing or scrap booking or hunting and fishing.

When you find something you love, you start out just doing, then you might end up actually competing. Some compete from the get go. My husband is one of those. He loves the fire, the competitive spirit and the challenge. I used to loathe it. I used to make myself sick thinking about it. I'd be nervous before training sessions, let alone racing. I admire his ability to say what he's GOING TO DO.

I've been able to get over half my battle. To give what I have, and not be afraid to leave it all out there, regardless of the outcome. I've had some great success, but also some not so great achievements with this new attitude.

But something I still struggle with is the confidence side. WHAT can I do, how fast can I go, can I really do it. I've learned that my body doesn't give up. Come hell or high water (pain or no pain) I am more than likely going to finish, I just might not end up happy with the result.

I see other people's strengths, their speeds and I feel like I know what THEY are capable of. I can talk people up & feel like I KNOW they can do something they set out to, even if they don't.

For the life of me, I just can't seem to put that on myself. I know my training, I know what I've done & (like this summer) what I haven't done... So, why am I struggling so hard to figure out what all that can turn into on race day? Perhaps it's because I don't have a coach to go off right now. A coach to tell me what all the training I'm doing can equate to on that day? That can't be the only factor though? Is it a lot of disappointments that scare me from believing things I can do?

You see, I've got this marathon coming up. It's in 8 weeks. I'm following a good training plan. A training plan that has been very successful for others. I'm doing what is written, not questioning it. Before last weekend, which was my personal test of getting through the 2:40min run pain free, the reality of actually doing the full marathon wasn't set in stone yet. But, I did the run, I felt great & now it's out there.

In 8 weeks I will be doing another marathon. Something I though I might never get the opportunity to do again.

I've got some really really big fans out there, bless their hearts seem to have my capabilities all figured out, and with any luck their confidence in me will rub off a little. But, for now when people are asking my goal I've got 2 things to say:

I plan on a PR (really, not that hard)
I am actually DOING another marathon, and will FINISH it.

Here's to hoping I can get a better idea of my abilities in the next 4 weeks! But, for now if anyone has any words of encouragement, or advice on how to teach myself to say I will, please let me know ;-)

4 comments:

Mama Tweet said...

wow! proud of you chica! you've come a long way! you'll do great!

Erin said...

One of my mantras on Ironman-day...and the marathons I've done, is, "You can handle this." And it's true. You've put in the training, you've been through so much, and now you can handle whatever those few hours throw at you. For me, that works.

But I think what you have to remember, also, is that even if you don't PR, even if something happens that sidelines your day, you are still a fantastic wife, friend, aunt, daughter, etc. Your life is still full and blessed, and that in the end, it doesn't truly matter if you run a 3 or 5 hour marathon. What matters is that you are a dedicated athlete who has chosen this wonderful lifestyle and who has the courage to even say, "I will" and step up to that line in the first place. That, my friend, is confidence.

Judi said...

it's just a little old 26.2 mile run. your an ironman girl! you have done this before!

Jessica said...

I think the hardest part, which you have actually done, is laying your goals on the line for others to hear...that is, in effect, confidence within itself. I did find though, that the more good training runs I had, the more my confidence increased. No matter what, though, you are left with one day in which everything needs to come together--but at least you had the guts to try.