The non race report

My first official DNF. I pulled out of one other race last year. It was in Vegas. They cancelled the swim, had us jump on our bikes and GO. My hip/IT had been bugging me and I rode HARD - with no warm up or stretching it was really tight. Since the race was already a sham, I decided not to do the run and risk injury. I never showed up on the results, so there wasn't an actual DNF.

Yesterday, it was a real true DNF. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Frustrated, yes. Sad, yes. I'm not mad or disappointed in myself though. I know my body, and as much as I like to pretend things aren't bad or I'm fine - the reality is that I was not fine. I spent 7 days resting. Loading on vitamins and green tea and supplements. I slept 10+hrs a night and did basically nothing.

Momo had me convinced (kinda) that I was just over-analyzing and being like her! I convinced myself that the pain in my back was a knot from laying around so much, not my lungs. Denial is a very powerful thing you know.

Come race day I was hyper and excited and with so much support and well wishes from so many people, I was sure it would all come together.

My morning went flawlessly. I got to the start of my swim wave. One of the first girls in the water. New goggles worked, I was at the front of the pack and not nervous at all.

There was no anxiety, no swim drama. I did weave back and forth quite a bit, but didn't freak out. I had a lot of trouble seeing the buoys. The water temp was perfect. Wetsuit near perfect.

I hit the last buoy to swim in and looked at my watch for the first time. 35mins. I was a little bummed, as I was hoping to be out of the water UNDER that. I had passed many men that started in front of me.. and only saw 1-2 of the caps from the wave behind me.

I got out of the water, had my wetsuit stripped and actually ran through transition. I got on my bike and that's where everything went wrong. My legs were toast. I was going 15-17 on the flats. 12mph on the smallest inclines. I figured I would eventually loosen up, but it wasn't happening. My lungs were burning and aching. I dropped to my small chainring. My HR was 175+. I was passed by about THIRTY people in the first few miles. I felt like I was going all out and just spinning and getting nowwhere. I was disoriented and my head was throbbing. I ran into a "keep right" traffic sign with my bike. I turned around to make sure the sign didn't tip over and hit someone and almost ran into another bike.

On one of the first out and back small loops (downhill even) I started coughing.... so I pulled over and threw up. I knew it was not going to happen. I would put my health and lungs into some serious jeopardy if I continued. I'm stubborn, but I'm trying not to be so stupid. It was not worth it to me to suffer out there. I trained smart, I trained FAST. I was on my way to a very big PR - a very attainable goal of 5:30. With the times in my training I could have even come just under that.

Unfortunately yesterday was NOT may day. I got on the sidewalk and rode back to transition. I borrowed a cell phone to call Shane. We got my stuff and went home. I showered and put on sweats and snuggled on the couch under a blanket with my dogs on top of me. (mind you it's like 75 degs in my house, but I was cold). My chest felt like it had a huge brick on it. Pain deep into my back when I took a big breath.

I slept another 10hours. My body feels fine today - no aches (besides the rested, tapered, ready to race legs) but my lungs hurt to inhale. I'm heading to the Dr. shortly to see what is going on. I've basically had trouble for over 2 months with my asthma. My airways have been tight, and that's my only reasoning for being sick so much. I hope he can come up with a solution to get my breathing back on track.

I checked the race results this morning. Some people had GREAT days. Cindy & Lisa had fantastic races!!! it was GREAT to meet you both!

Although I was unhappy with my swim time, I noticed most everyone had slow swim times. I was 6/41 in my AG & 38/208 for OA women. After a speedy transition I was in 30th place for the females. Too bad that's as far as I got :-) I'm trying to see the glass half full with that.

Of course I've already been on line looking for a replacement race (assuming my Dr can help me clear up my lungs). Unfortunately AZ is about the only place still warm, and besides Clearwater & Silverman there is nothing!

I'm so sad to see my training just slip away. My swim & bike & run times faster than I've ever seen. I guess this is what happens when you put all your eggs in 1 (or 2 ) baskets. I'm just so thankful this did not happen to me on an Ironman day. It also makes me happy or satisfied with my decision to not race Ironman next year. To do more races. Challenge myself. Get fast.

I want to thank everyone out there that has been so supportive. I felt like I had so man people rooting for me. Shane & Momo & Heather & Sara all there for the swim start. The countless emails of encouragement from so many. My sister & niece and Natalie were all on their way to see my finish. I really feel so lucky to have so many great people in my life! Thanks for all of your emails and facebook posts.

Remember, I'm tough and I've fought all these things that have stacked up against me and won. I'll get my asthma in check and I'll find another race to conquer. I just might be a little sad for now....